Consider Yourself A Shopper #39: The one about desire

A quick housekeeping note: In Consider Yourself a Shopper #38, I introduced a new section for paid subscribers called Last Look—a final compelling find that I just have to share. (In #38, for example, I talked about a Bloomingdale’s catalogue that can sometimes go for upwards of $500.)

Today’s last look is extra special, as it was guest-edited by

Leonora Epstein

of Schmatta, whose writing on interiors and décor is both razor-sharp and laugh-out-loud funny. She’s curated a true treasure trove of finds, making this the perfect way to end your scroll.

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I found myself out and about a bit more than I expected, here are few things I wore:

The blazer and belt are both Bottega Veneta. The blazer is from the Daniel Lee-era, while the belt is from Matthieu Blazy’s tenure— two worlds colliding). Gap polo (I’m wearing a small), I tucked my coin choker under the collar to conceal, The Row pants (full disclosure: I didn’t have time to steam them, so yes, there are some unfortunate creases), and a Christina Carsuo chain link bracelet, which I haven’t taken off since I got it. I wore this to a dinner celebrating Pamela Zamore’s residency at Trove.

The pants pulled double duty this week, as did the choker, Victoria Beckham blazer (though if you're in the market for a white blazer, may I suggest this one), Saks’ house-line cashmere turtleneck (I don’t know how widely known this is, but Saks' in-house line uses Loro Piana cashmere, meaning you can snag comparable quality for a fraction of the price), and Larroude “Yves” wedges. I wore this to the Whitney Art Party, where the theme was ‘70s disco. I initially had no intention of dressing on theme (I’m not a fan of themed dressing), but somehow, I unintentionally ended up fully leaning into it anyway.

As we enter the final stretch of the layover month, a new impulse has emerged—what I can only describe as an allergic reaction to black clothing. Don’t get me wrong, a sizable portion of my wardrobe is black, but something about wearing it in the dead of winter—especially given the state of the world—feels almost too on the nose. So, whenever possible, I’ve opted for all-white or off-white looks, or at the very least, mostly white pants.

Still Here “Everyday” pants, a Gap topcoat, VTG Cowichan sweater (a few great options here, here, and here), and finally, after a brief hiatus, my Erede earrings are back in rotation.

In the process, I also made a discovery—one that might be blasphemous to say—I don’t think Levi’s 501s work for me. They’ve long been heralded as the gold standard of denim, and while that may be true for some, I’m realizing they just aren’t for me. The thigh area feels too tapered, and I’ve found that a more relaxed fit not only looks better on me but also makes me feel better—which, at the end of the day, is exactly what clothes should do. Lately, I’ve been thinking more about this—clothes that make you feel good, clothes that make you feel desirable, clothes that make you feel sexy.

A close up of these amazing boots!

Maybe it’s a byproduct of this never ending month or early fatigue is setting in from the process of piling on layers just to walk down the street. But at the same time, I think it also speaks to the current state of the market—so many brands churning out products that, for the most part, feel indistinguishable from one another. In this sea of sameness, something has been lost—something I first started noticing with the initial post-pandemic runway shows.

The fashion that emerged in that era—micro-minis, endless sequins, sky-high platforms—on the surface, seemed to embrace sexiness. But looking back at that moment of dopamine dressing and barely-there fashion, those clothes weren’t really about sexiness or even sex itself. They were about bodily autonomy—a declaration: This is my body. This is my time. I’ll show it off if I want, and I don’t care.

But sexy or desirable clothing is about more than just how much skin is showing. It’s something I discussed with Henry Zankov of Zankov and Rachel Scott of Diotima when I moderated a conversation between them. I asked: What does sexiness in fashion mean today

A snippet from the conversation I had with Henry Zankov and Rachel Scott.

For them, sexiness isn’t really about the clothes themselves—it’s about the person wearing them. The clothes are simply supporting elements, tools to complete the fantasy.

I’ve never strived to be sexy or to be perceived as sexy, but I do want to feel desirable—something I’ve been considering more as spring merchandise starts trickling in and new wishlists are made. For me, the pieces that make me feel most desirable right now are the more tailored ones—the kind that feel like they belong in a Helmut Newton or Guy Bourdin shoot, or something as simple as a good skirt and tights. Lately, the act of saving pieces has taken on a meaning beyond just shopping or idealizing the next purchase. There’s something almost therapeutic about it—this isn’t just another skirt or another shoe; they’re building blocks for a feeling, a fantasy.

For my Carted wishlists, I decided to organize them by individual stores rather than grouping everything under a single Spring Wishlist. While there’s often overlap in what different retailers carry—where I can use the app’s price comparison feature to track discounts and see which site marks down first or deepest—I’ve noticed that my selections vary depending on the retailer.

Or, in the words of Monique Heart, they help create that ooh ah ah sensation.

Maybe it’s just a reflection of the times, but right now, leaning into desire and dissecting our impulses feels more necessary than ever. We’re so often told to suppress or feel ashamed of them, but as Danielle DuBoise of Sakara Life once told me about cravings—these impulses surface for a reason. You have to acknowledge them, sit with them, before you can truly move on to what’s next.

things that are currently in my home, in my cart, or simply on my mind…

• One of the most-clicked items from Sunday’s newsletter were these Begg x Co cashmere socks, which Jenna Lyons mentioned on her episode of the Harper’s Bazaar podcast. In the name of research—purely for science, of course—I decided to buy a pair (I will report back once they arrive).

  • I found out about this brand while I was in a showroom a few years ago, where I had the chance to chat with one of the owners, who described it as the Scottish Loro Piana. She had this intriguing mix of quiet reserve and a bit of a rock edge, which only made the brand more compelling. One distinction between the two brands is Begg x Co’s approach to color, but beyond that, there’s also a fundamental difference in their overall aesthetic. While Loro Piana has a more classic look with a hint of eccentricity (which I, of course, love), Begg x Co feels a bit looser, more sensual—especially when you see how the clothes drape and envelop the body

• When was the last time you thought about Hogan shoes? I came across these and found myself very intrigued.

Alex Mill “Aaron” utility jacket (I’m wearing a large) from the newest collection, Still Here “Everyday” jeans in camo print, and for the layered pieces you can spot peeking through: a vintage Giorgio Armani silk shirt (alt), and this cashmere cable knit.

• Alex Mill just dropped their Spring collection, a celebration of quality and thoughtful details—nothing new for the brand, but this time, they’ve really doubled down on the idea. The pieces have all the charm of vintage finds, yet they’re brand spanking new! My favorites (aside from my jacket) are the slightly shrunken cashmere sweaters and these subtly barrel-leg pants in the perfect shade of khaki.

• Lately, I’ve been on a serious pinky ring kick—one that hit a fever pitch when I was out helping a friend shop for a push present and, naturally, got a little distracted.

  

  Selim Mouzannar “Aida” ring.

  • Maybe pinky rings feel especially fitting for winter because they align with that layover month mindset—when the pieces that feel right aren’t overtly seasonal. Another reason they may feel right at the moment is that this is the time of year when our fingers are at their smallest, which opens up a lot of real estate to go all in on stacking. Lately, I’ve been gravitating toward pinky rings that feel more like cocktail rings than classic signets—pieces that are a bit more ornate, bold, maybe even a touch of bulbousness. (I also wrote a piece for At Present on key jewelry picks if you’re looking to build out your collection this year.)

• I popped into the Saint Laurent store in the Meatpacking District and stumbled upon their collaboration with Christofle— which feels like another piece of evidence supporting

  tariro makoni
  theory that food is fashion’s next frontier.

other bits and bobs that are mostly in my home or better yet my medicine cabinet.

sidiathebrand

A post shared by @sidiathebrand

• Body

  • My skin tends to be on the drier side (especially during the winter), so I'm always on the lookout for products that deliver deep, lasting hydration. While killing time before an event, I wandered into The Detox Market, hoping to restock my go-to body oil (Everyday Oil). Instead, I walked out with a few new finds: Everist Body Oil Spritz, Karité Crème Corps Hydrating Body Cream, and Sidia Hand Cream (which I mainly picked up because I’d read

    Katie Stone
    ’s review and was intrigued—the sales associate also tried to upsell me on the candles, but they smelled a bit generic). I've only been using them for about three days, but so far, I’m impressed. The body oil has a fantastic warm citrus scent that’s subtle yet inviting, and the hand cream offers long lasting hydration—I don’t find myself needing to reapply as often as I do with other brands.

  • Salt & Stone generously sent me a few products to try, and so far, I’ve only tested the Black Rose & Oud Body Wash. I love rose and oud in fragrances, but I’m usually wary of body washes that lean too perfumy—strong scents can sometimes trigger headaches for me, and Nick is also sensitive to anything too overpowering. Thankfully, this one strikes the right balance. It filled the bathroom with its rich, intoxicating notes, but never to the point of being overwhelming. Strangely enough, the scent immediately reminded me of a hotel—specifically, the Four Seasons I stayed at in Milwaukee.

• Fragrances

  • Speaking of rose scents, I recently sampled quite a few, each with its own unique twist. At the Whitney Art Party, I tried Rozu, which evolves on the skin to mimic the life cycle of a rose—it starts off green and fresh before drying down to something woodier and darker. (I also sampled Marrakech, designed to capture the essence of a spice market.)

  • I also went to Scent Bar this week, where I tested about five different fragrances, most of them rose-forward. My favorites were BDK Parfums’ Tabac Rose, which features three different types of roses and has a bold, slightly powdery richness, and Matiere Première’s Radical Rose, a spicier take with saffron and pepper adding depth- both exude a certain refined, mature, and dare I say erotic.

• Make-up

  • As you all know, I’m not exactly a makeup person—if there were a tier below novice, that’s probably where I’d land (okay, maybe I’m not that unskilled). Anyway, I had to do my own hair and makeup for an upcoming shoot (stay tuned for that!), so I quickly DMed Alex Levy for some foolproof tips. He suggested keeping it simple with a skin tint and an eyebrow gel. I went with Westman Atelier’s Complexion Drops but instead of applying it directly, I mixed it into my moisturizer for a more natural finish. For the brow gel, I opted for this one from NYX.

and finally….

Last Look